RAIN HUG[EPISODE 24]
This epi is making me, compelling me to go back...and snatch the moment again from the time to devour these two along with the essence of this moment which never been projected on the small screen or even a big one with that much intensity and devotion...
Arnav Singh Raizada ko kissi ladki seh fadak nahin padta ...main sahi hoon...meaning he felt the very first time he did something wrong and this feeling of belonging to someone was threatening him with the sound of Thunder...Yet his life started around the noise of her Payal which soothes all of his threatening sounds around him which couldn't let him relieve from or deject from it for a very very long time...Now he wants to see her all the time but had no clue why...
First secure hold and then next moment dejection after realizing of going against his set norms...Koi Matlab Nahin...
Is this the same ASR who told his sister,"It will never happen to me because I don't waste my time in these useless things (Love, infatuation, etc) [Main in Fazool batton Main Waqat Barbad Nahi Karta] is falling for this ordinary girl? Today this stern person's goodness was trying hard to come out of him unveiling his other side which is not DARK at all, which is not EVIL at all, which is not DEVILISH or SATANIC at all. Brilliant exposure of a vast range of emotions and expressions by Mr. Sobti.
Indeed he is her Rakshus and Rajkumar at the same time.
RAIN HUG[EPISODE 24]
Continuation
I am going to steal this from your writing here to start
people say they can understand what you feel, but no one can ever feel the emotions you go through
This one line of yours is the key of his whole life ...of anyone's life in his shoes...
He lost the "Faith" in things that make a child "safe " in his heaven...
a Heaven of a child is "home"
Home comes with "parents "
Parents come with trust and Love
Those two factors were missing in his life...badly and he learned to say"koi fadak nahin padta" It doesn't matter...just like he used to say in his childhood to his mother "I don't care"...
self defiance and that starts seeing and hearing things for a mind at an early age and at that age that child starts his/her rebellious nature to kick in...this is a mechanism coping with "Fear"
Fear of losing that dream ...
a dream of losing someone special to imagine to be without him/her
imagine being shattered by them
shattering that part of your life which is way hard to snatch away and that is what he has to live with it, seeing his father shattering his dreams, seeing his mother getting mentally tortured...imagining how she is going through with that pain every day, seeing her crying...worse for any child
14 years old is the age where a child started learning transformation...from child to a young man or a woman with full dreamy life and he started an adult's life.
where he has to take care of his sister...he became a father figure, a protector and a predecessor which he wanted from his father but he got betrayed in return...
Here comes Faith after losing Trust and Love...
He lost that trust in God..."Main Apni kismat khud banata hoon..." Yes, he learned that because that is one way of getting out his anger as a child...He might have grown up but his mind was still there frozen at that age...to rebel from the norms...he never stopped others but for him, that part had no meaning and like so many other things too which our society and culture has webbed around us...
In some ways he is correct...certain norms of society had no meaning if a person consciousness is not right...
His conscious was clear and straight...but again he saw two versions of the same picture always..
His mother who was a protector of a home for her kids...He saw "wo aurat" another woman who was the reason for breaking a home, a family...lost his trust in another woman besides his sister and mother ...
He saw a di, sister, a mother figure who was everything for him but he was still incomplete, empty inside searching for that unconditional Love which he only had from his mother, ...kangan of hers even enough to soothe him..he wanted that noise and he got that in Khushi but again she was a woman...another woman ...koi ladki...jiss se ASR koi Fadak nahin padta...He was refusing it and that refusal made him more angry...and he started running away from her...but again has to halt in the middle of the road...yes he has to stop...and she was the reason for that ...the rain was "Showers of Love" in which he drenched...fully but again wanted to run away but could he...no she was in him, penetrated deeply making him fully drenched inside out...and he was a sponge..absorbed it all too...the Love which he was looking for...
Love which never left him after his mother and he was showering it to others in his own way ...but embraced it through Khushi who showed him that he has it all along, just come forward and hug that "feeling" and he did before standing and denying...holding her in his arms...
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