IPKKND-A Lonely Tear...[ Khushi cries seeing Arnav hugging La]

                            A Lonely Tear...

                                  By ArshiHamesha

He enters his glass cabin and is shocked to see it filled with his life's escape goodies...Plants.  He reads the card stuck in one of them.  The card conveyed the message of a lonely tears to his heart which he can't bear and doesn't know why her tears disturbed him so much. ...Why Dammit??... a slam to the fact that he can't deny it.That gesture of her showed him her innocence and care for him.She did it for La to make him think that she loves him as much as he loves his plants.

He decides to stop La from leaving, not because he loved her or else but because he thought that's what Khushi wanted and it will make her happy. When it comes to his personal life, Arnav does not listen to anyone, even his own sister whom he loves the most. Yet, the very same man was willing to listen to Khushi Kumari Gupta. 

When he reaches La's place, he overhears Khushi's confident statement that she knows he would come for her. It would irk him normally see someone else interfering with his life and what he does, yet he remains calm. His eyes never leave Khushi's face as he is eager to see her reaction to it. 

When he sees a big smile on her face, his face brightens up and his eyes twinkle and get softened. La was out of his vision till she hugs him .He is not comfortable being hugged and does not know what to do.  He warily brings up his arms around La.  Khushi's smile slowly fades away the moment his arm comes into the picture for holding  La and she breaks into tears by the time he has his arms around her holding her in his embrace.

 

Arnav looks up to see Khushi's reaction and is stunned to see her in tears again. He did everything to make her happy and for some unknown reasons that made her unhappy instead. Khushi baffled him with her reactions the very same way when she came to apologize for her pranks and throwing Hot tea. He could not understand her then and he could not understand her now suddenly. She left them hurriedly, but his eyes never leave her wondering what is going on . 

He was not the only one who surprised by Khushi's tears, Khushi herself  is equally confused "hum Khush kyuon nahin hai...". She could not understand why she was disturbed to see Arnav reunite with La when she herself had gone to great lengths to ensure it.  

Back in their homes, he remembers her tears and she remembers what caused them.The day he apologized to her, they connected on an equal level, The connection of pain of loss.Today, once again pain is what made them realize their feelings. For Arnav he cannot see her in tears which occur due to pain and Kushi felt pain of loss when she saw him hugging Lavanya and she started questioning her feelings.

 

This is a moment of realization. Kushi had so many close proximities encounters with Arnav but she never felt or realize anything for him but today seeing him hugging La (it's like losing him to some other woman ) made her heart cry out in desperation "NO He belongs to me and me alone".

Brilliant, and hats off to Barun and Sanaya

 

 

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IPKKND-Love and Concern...

                  

Love and Concern...

By ArshiHamesha

 

"There is a primal reassurance in being touched, in knowing that someone else, someone close to you, wants to be touching you. There is a bone-deep security that goes with the brush of a human hand, a silent, reflex-level affirmation that someone is near, that someone cares." 
 Jim Butcher, White Night

 

Arnav and Khushi who always there for each other besides keeping their anger,irritations, and frustrations within.If he puts her in misery for breaking his shell and having the guts to make him feel things which he was very much unaware of and banned by his dominant brain...Then she was playing innocent pranks as her revenge towards him which ends up most of the time bringing these two nut-heads together more than ever.Her prank to make him say the truth acted as a boomerang for her and she felt her self centred act could have severe consequences.It is reminding me of the day when he sent her to the guest house and ended up strangled trying to clear his side which she never gave him chance to do so and threatened him leaving for Lukhnow for Hamesha...That day he did it out of irritation because she did break in his shell and stirred his heart with warm feelings from which he was running for a long time but as Payal said "kya bigada hai isne apka..."[what did she do to you?] and made him realize it's not her fault if he is feeling all these desires.

 

Today Khushi is realizing the same after Anjali's advice,it's not his fault and he is the way he is, alone and abandoned by his own feelings.Her care was genuine but Arnav was seeing it as a fake and irritable prank till she threatened him for telling Anjali .She casts her full right of being his wife today ,"humain karne dijiye..."[Let me do it] just like he told her"tumhain mujhe jawab daina hoga kyuonke tum meri patni ho.."[you have to answer me because you are my wife.] Her two hands are tucking him with her warmth but he is placing his hand of trust over her which a couple of seconds Anjali did on her too while leaving her in charge of Chote's care ."Don't worry everything will be fine " but before leaving she did give her a cue with her looks "don't stretch too much" meaning don't go so far with this care which makes him step back and that's what makes her stop her pranks and irritable manner and she will find the other way around to reach him.

She did have experienced his care for her from the beginning, saving her in the Parking Lot to GH, in Nainital and during Payesh wedding and he knows very well her sweet nature of concerns about him too, from feeding him Jalaibi to worrying for taking wrong meds. They both can go to any length for each other without realizing that they can't breath without each other.Here comes Anjali's words [epi 104 near Rangoli]"agar unki zindagi main dukh aye tou kuch bhi karke who door kar do..." [you want to remove any suffering from your partner no matter what] They both can't see each other in pain and distress and besides the odds, they find solace in each other by buffing the fact that they are each other's needs and they are the only ones who can fulfil each other's needs too.

"Indeed Love is caring for the one you are angry with is really a TRUE Love..."But still, these two need to understand layers of it by peeling the layers of ambiguous thoughts and by removing these self-created walls of Ego and Pride.

 

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."  Antoine de Saint-Exupry, The Little Prince

 

                          

                        

"Touch of Love"

 

* * *

 "Touch of Love"

By  ArshiHamesha  

   

Arnav and Khushi, both have been affected by a mere TOUCH of Love. A butterfly has indeed succeeded in spreading colors in his colorless life and he can't resist or have fear of embracing or touching it either.

 

That was a day when after marrying a girl who he thinks has betrayed his trust and LOVE, he was standing in front of both the families just to save an unborn life and to save her sister's shaky relationship. Today both families who went through a lot that night and questioned them  for their unexplainable actions, have not only accepted the relation with full heart... but also makes him realise the worth of it!!!

Khushi is the girl whom he just wanted to hate, destroy and punish within six months contract which was only the intricacy and entangled condition not only for him but also for her too. The relationship which he claimed will have no name from his side "patni ka darja nahin doonga"[I won't accept you my wife]... today he is not even shirking or thinking of denying any willing and demanding responsibilities towards it and anything which is associated with it. That shows how this relationship is slowly weakening his defenses against the very same girl and he is accepting her. He came so far with it. He is the one who on "pag phere" had left her alone but today Destiny is bringing him to the same doors with his wife and he has surprisingly no qualms, reluctance or objection about it!!!

When he closes the door and turns, there is no annoyance,no hesitation, no regret, no questions on why she made that decision without telling him because Naniji's words had made him see through "yeh bhi to apna ghar chod ke yaahan aayi hai" [After all she came after leaving her home to be with you]... and the guilt within that he had gratuitously made her go through on the wedding night and all reels through him... and this is where his journey begins "guilt and knowing that what she went through"... He is agreed with all the norms without making a big fuss about it.

Another side The touch of love is springing colors in her visage too regardless of pain and hate. Love is blooming in her heart, in her eyes and the irritating fight which she started is making even her to rest her defences.Now she wants him to accept that love which is in his heart and touch those emotions that he is hiding beneath that Touch!!!

 

 "Reason lost the battle, and all I could do was surrender and accept I was in love." - Paulo Coelho [Thnx to Shara's gift, I read "Zahir"]

The sweet journey ,where he gets uneasy by extra unseen and unheard attention and anticipation conveyed through Buaji's phone call, Khushi's endless and non-stop chatting and singing which he is very much into that moment. It seems he went back to old times when he used to go on vacation with his mother and sister to his Naniji's house.His soul is playing freely and he is liking it being light and free.

They were recounting and retracing each of their car journeys together so far in a fun loving way with mild smiles. These shadows of old times where each time he  asked her to leave "get out" when he couldn't handle the effect and seeping love of her in his armored shell  which some how she had the key not only to open it but also had a courage to live in it too. 

The moment He tries the same to throw her out, she entangles him in his own web, then a realization wears the cloak of acceptance. Today he proves it to her and made her belief stronger than ever, things are changing and you are here to stay for forever, each time you will try to "step out" of this relation without a fight or complaint... i'll "hold you back"... He is losing all the reasons against this lost battle. His gestures made her ecstatic "This sweet journey with you with all of your attention is must to keep" All he was showing her his surrender against her Love, "Fadak padta hai...pyar se, mohabbat se, Ishq se"... She wants him to embrace it and he wants that from her too.

 

For first time till now, this was the sweetest journey ever. Let's go back to the beginning of this journey where the first thing that Khushi had seen of this man behind the mask of ASR, was his love for plants. The day when she had come to give him the files at RM first time in his presence... That was her first glimpse of Arnav and she has always respected that "virtue" of his and that was the first thing she did by "selling her bangles to buy him plants on Lavanya's behalf"... a selfless and an innocent act which got the desired and deep effect on him that day... 

Here is Anjali's words which are seeping in her "aap khulke pyar karaingi to Chotey apne saamne eik deewar khadi kar lainge... aap ko unke hi tareeke se pyar jatana hoga" [If u will show your love openly, Chote will stand a wall in between... u have to make him the touch of Love in his own way] - Khushi never took notice of the words before when Anjali gave a glimpse of Arnav and showed her the window to look at him at a different angle, but that's what happened today, unintentionally a small gesture of her love according to his way which touched him, made him feel cared, loved, felt and above all needed and centre of her attention. He reflects All that gratitude through eyes... by resting his defences again... The touch which made both shaky the day one in Sheesh Mahal is shaping their heart to feel it, to indulge in it and to set free themselves to embrace it. 

"There's not a single passing day that I don't think of you. In my heart, you will forever stay as long as you love me too." Unknown

 Mother's blessings in different ways, from all across is ready to embrace his visage to embrace his freedom to Love and to be Loved and above all to embrace the PURITY of it through his Khushi for his Khushi.

                 Indeed... "Never touch a butterfly's wings with your finger"

IPKKND-Star Gazing

 

Stargazing...He was dying to talk to her by all means forgetting the rules he set for her and him.

"Aaj se main na tum see baat karoonga aur an tum mujh see".

"From today, neither I nor you will come in front of each other"

He was the one who made this pact and with every angle and by doing all she proved to him that she will abide by his deal. 

But...His tears broke all the barriers.

His pain is what she couldn't bear and the same was with him and he broke his deal by asking her an innocent question. 

"Kya wo sach main tare ban jate hain?..."

"Is it true that deceased parents become stars?"

Her beautiful answer was what made him believe in things that he has never done before...

Baat sach ya jhoot ki nain Yakeen ki hai...

"It is not a matter of truth or a lie...it is all about believing in it.

IPKKND-Hands Position

 

His hand is up and the upper hand is always called a "giver" hand while the bottom is the receiver one.This is reminding me the scene when her earring got stuck to his heart and he gave it to her.That day she heard his heartbeat first time.That day he accepted Khushi's forgiveness and found her innocence.Then her earrings was in his palm after Teri meri when he had her heart after Diwali meaning he accepted it.That day he had her trust in him during dance at each and every level.But that trust got shattered again after forced marriage on both sides.Her earring got stuck again into his heart after Gparvesh to remind and register her innocence but he was not in any state.

Today again in this scene he is showing her his trust and she is taking it with her demanding Haq and assurance from her side.She will always be a receiver if he is a giver as ALWAYS.

Today she shows him the way back to her by conveying him that she knows how to read his eyes and knows how he feels and all.He tells her whatever he did to hurt her ,it means nothing because that's what he never wanted it.He was just making him feel better but the TRUTH is he is  always with her in this feeling.Fadak padta hai kyuonke...has converted to main hamesha Hamesha tum se...

His hand is always a giver one as u mentioned after Teri meri , he holds her hand and put her earrings in her palm and he closes that palm...that is one irony action there.He gives his heart and trust in her hand but go one step behind...Epi 124 .He put her ring in the palm of her hand as he was trying to reverse the HURT he gave her on Diwali night with his heart to her but she snatched her hand but did ACCEPT The ring from him...

Then Teri meri comes...after that he gives her SWEETS , persaad...again his hand is in that position but she receives it with both hands without moving her hands..

But now he is holding her Jhumka and she puts her hand under him to ask him with her right and emanding it and he gives her what is hers...but again denies it and she takes it as her samman , respect is again in the line so she thows the Jhumka..meaning him and his thoiughts that whatever she will do it won't work but this is again in anger and rage but in reality they are coming closer than ever.

OK lets take all the thinks...he was caressing till now

1-her pearls...round circular objects in his palm caressing before he throws em.He ends up throwing money at her for bringing her home for his Di.

                    

2-Payal...Round around your anklet he was holding at his level...just like this earring.

He accepts her as his no matter what. and then he returns her bowing down

                    

3-Her Jhumkas to his heart...circular yet dangling piece[deep meaning] he takes out from his jacket lovingly and gives her with respect and exchange of looks.

  

4-His hoop earring on Teri meri ...again round.He gives her in her palm trust in her is budding.

5--Jhumka on Greh Parvesh...round...he takes it out and gives her back with nasty look yet with love and care in removing process as her care and love are still there. which runs all the way end

6-Maa's kangan which he puts on her one hand by sitting in front of her but look at the holding at his level.That day she was accepted by him unintentionally.

         

6-today again Jhumka...round...that is his demand to get her inhis embrace as his desires are winning him over his hate.Today she accepts her feelings for him openly and he did too but he wants his assurance the way she is giving him buy putting her hand down that I accept your dominance on me.You are the one ...but he needs time.One thing is clear he couldn't hide from her...such a right he is giving her and she is receiving it but he jerks out here again...

   

ALL circles...as these are the ones which complete them...but Jhumkas are dangling...release negative energy within...he is caressing all those elements but this one piece is close to his heart yes he is remembering all at this point which is paining him but at the same time his longing towards her is increasing...He wants her next to him o love her to cherish her and that's what he was doing on HOLI , in Bhaang but today he doesn't have that excuse either and she knows it and she wants to hear it but he is still in the mode of getting control of the situation and disregards her again and leaves her frustrated.

IPKKND~I feel what You feel...~

 

 ~I feel what You feel...~

By  ArshiHamesha

"Jo tum mehsoos karti ho who main mehsoos karta hoon"[What you feel I feel]...This was the confession Arnav made and answered Khushi's question,"aisa kyuon hota hai ...aap jab bhi humare paas ate hain...humarey dil ki Dhakan taiz ho jati hai..."[Whenever you come close to me why does my heartbeat run faster]...

They both denied it verbally under the expression that maybe it was the liquor which made them feel that way. They felt the same during Heer Ranjha but Arnav denied it again which made a stamp on her heart about his heartless attitude towards her and she found it there is no reason she should carry on her mission to win her promise to keep her maglasutre and bring him back to her. She started keeping herself out of his life at his command without knowing the real reason that he is upset by her silence. Her silence which changed into her disappearance is totally unacceptable for him. Whenever she creates distance, he does whatever to bring her back to him.She is a North star of his life which shows him a way to live. How can he let her go...

Khushi took Anjali's advice in a different direction to tease him to reach the bottom of the truth by keeping her 100 ways style to irritate him. She is giving him the sugar-coated sweet from which he is allergic..."Pyar" [love].But she doesn't know just like him and can't deny this fact that she is in love with this Ranjha too.She is changing his black and white life , showing him respect without even realizing that he is respecting all of her things, all of her ideas, all of her demands and all of her silliness. She on the other hand is oblivious in her revenge to reach the truth. During reaching that truth she reaches to the fact that her heartbeat is racing for this guy and she wants his touch just like he melts in hers.

She applies "tikka" from her forehead to him and stays there holding him lovingly and had no desire to let him go.She mesmerized him by her possessiveness over him which he is pretty much aware of that in his case for her. But today he is stunned seeing her feeling that. Another side her proximity, her inebriated beauty , her captivated essence made him gulp his hankering desire to hold her so close forever. They both remained under the spell of each other for a couple of seconds and relived those moments again...indeed"what you feel I feel too..." Today Khushi is in that state where he was during Heer Ranjha act...but this time she breaks the spell...which brings him back to his terms and he leaves the room by removing her "tikka" meaning rejecting her without knowing that She is the North Star who is showing him the way to her...to live...to love...

iss pyar ko kya naam doon...

IPKKND-A Fallen Star/ Episode 124

 

A Fallen Star

By: Mysticaldivine

 "Yeh hamaari sagaai ki angoothi hai"

 Her words are shattered him the very same way he shattered her world with his "shadi kar rahe hain.." on Diwali night. The only difference is he did it purposely by running away from his feelings and she had no such intention of doing this here. 

But after hurting her deeply on that night he did try to bandage that moment by taking care of her wound and did make bondage through which he delivered his feelings... she grasped it yet moved away and now she knew it well he that was hurt finding out about her being engaged with someone else...

But This is also a realization moment for Khushi for the first time that she is ENGAGED'...which she never grasped before either...

   

          

The moment gets glaciated with the piercing pain with those hollow words of Khushi and in return, it benumbs and desensitizes him and his gesture "Kya yeh saach hai"[is it true?] without WORDS and she confirms it. She lowers her gaze as she can't bear his pain anymore. but he couldn't take his eyes off. his face lost all the expressions, and all the tough clenching jaws fell off his place. All was written there, the surprise and shock with a sharp gaze.

Slightly opened, tilted lips, the unbelievable moment dominated the surroundings. 

This is my engagement ring, she'd just said with an echo added with the music in their background...All it did was just took his breath with a slow removal of all expression from his face, embraced by a staggering pan of pain that would have told how deeply he was affected...

A draining moment of everything  felt somewhat a howling windy storm inside him crushing every root of leftover belief in him...'The excruciating pain and the numbness of the brain paralyze the Mighty ASR whose hands never miss any target yet lose the grip on the ring.

First he asked with unbelievable look, so uncertain, being numb...

Kya kar rahi ho?

but her answer with a tone brings a lethal reaction out...and he bursts out...with rage and bafflement, 

 ,"tumhari sagai ho gyae,..kaise'tum ne mujhe batana zaroori nahi samjha..Kissi ko pata kyuon nahinn hai ["you got engaged? 'how? Why did you not even bother to tell me?]

 Like he wanted to expect her saying that tells me it's not true.

But Mr Raizada who thinks girls like her have a purpose behind everything and not a single girl matters to ASR then WHY today all this matter. 

Khushi in quizzical mode,"aap ko iss se kya fadak padta hai"[why does it matter to you?] She knows how to retaliate...but he is in no mood or patience for all of this...

He grabs her fiercely,"Mujhe iss se fadak padta hai Dammit' kyuonke'.[it matters to me because.] 

His ego and fear stop him from completing his sentence but not his heart which is feeling the same pain that she felt on Diwali night...He just keeps staring at her with agonizing eyes'.which are delivering his message that he can't verbalize'..The message which is showing his vulnerable side, the side which he opened for HER only...The girl who is her reason of survival...without whom he can't breathe...

And who knew the stargazing ended up realizing what was he doing all along. He was on the verge of losing her. Rage, loss, pain, guilt, jealousy and obsession mixed all of his thoughts at one point. How could she do this to him? Can't she see what is in between them? But he was forgetting that he cut that piece of thread to hold onto it on Diwali night...Didn't he say that you don't mean anything or that whatever happened in between us?

"You don't matter to me..."

Now  "kya kar rahi ho tum?" 

 or the "tumne mujhe batana zaroori nahin samjha?", every word and feeling of this episode gets me... every time.

Well she is right at her place asking

"Aapko is see kya Farq padta hai?" [ Why does it matter to you?]

"Mujhe  kyuon farak padta hai?"

Holding her tight, fearing losing her. Piercing his eyes into her showing her openly his wound, he blurted out many things which were contradicting his own actions recently. Her words blew the fire and intensified his pain further.

"aapko is see kya fark padta hai?

Ah, he is not backing off that easily. Is he?

"Farak padta hai dammit kyuonke..."

But somewhere it was too late... He felt it, deep down knew it and as always he hurt himself like all the wounds were ready to rupture the last drop of blood in him. He doesn't let her touch or heal his wounded soul.

It doesn't matter...he was affirmed by this one mantra what he will tell her over and over from now until the real realization of what he had done and what he had to do to rewind those moments and he will try...with his rage, hurting her and himself in return until he lets her go...by hugging La...apologizing her for hurting ...

Har bar...for everything.