A Fallen Star
By: Mysticaldivine
"Yeh hamaari sagaai ki angoothi hai"
Her words are shattered him the very same way he shattered her world with his "shadi kar rahe hain.." on Diwali night. The only difference is he did it purposely by running away from his feelings and she had no such intention of doing this here.
But after hurting her deeply on that night he did try to bandage that moment by taking care of her wound and did make bondage through which he delivered his feelings... she grasped it yet moved away and now she knew it well he that was hurt finding out about her being engaged with someone else...
But This is also a realization moment for Khushi for the first time that she is ENGAGED'...which she never grasped before either...
The moment gets glaciated with the piercing pain with those hollow words of Khushi and in return, it benumbs and desensitizes him and his gesture "Kya yeh saach hai"[is it true?] without WORDS and she confirms it. She lowers her gaze as she can't bear his pain anymore. but he couldn't take his eyes off. his face lost all the expressions, and all the tough clenching jaws fell off his place. All was written there, the surprise and shock with a sharp gaze.
Slightly opened, tilted lips, the unbelievable moment dominated the surroundings.
This is my engagement ring, she'd just said with an echo added with the music in their background...All it did was just took his breath with a slow removal of all expression from his face, embraced by a staggering pan of pain that would have told how deeply he was affected...
A draining moment of everything felt somewhat a howling windy storm inside him crushing every root of leftover belief in him...'The excruciating pain and the numbness of the brain paralyze the Mighty ASR whose hands never miss any target yet lose the grip on the ring.
First he asked with unbelievable look, so uncertain, being numb...
Kya kar rahi ho?
but her answer with a tone brings a lethal reaction out...and he bursts out...with rage and bafflement,
,"tumhari sagai ho gyae,..kaise'tum ne mujhe batana zaroori nahi samjha..Kissi ko pata kyuon nahinn hai ["you got engaged? 'how? Why did you not even bother to tell me?]
Like he wanted to expect her saying that tells me it's not true.
But Mr Raizada who thinks girls like her have a purpose behind everything and not a single girl matters to ASR then WHY today all this matter.
Khushi in quizzical mode,"aap ko iss se kya fadak padta hai"[why does it matter to you?] She knows how to retaliate...but he is in no mood or patience for all of this...
He grabs her fiercely,"Mujhe iss se fadak padta hai Dammit' kyuonke'.[it matters to me because.]
His ego and fear stop him from completing his sentence but not his heart which is feeling the same pain that she felt on Diwali night...He just keeps staring at her with agonizing eyes'.which are delivering his message that he can't verbalize'..The message which is showing his vulnerable side, the side which he opened for HER only...The girl who is her reason of survival...without whom he can't breathe...
And who knew the stargazing ended up realizing what was he doing all along. He was on the verge of losing her. Rage, loss, pain, guilt, jealousy and obsession mixed all of his thoughts at one point. How could she do this to him? Can't she see what is in between them? But he was forgetting that he cut that piece of thread to hold onto it on Diwali night...Didn't he say that you don't mean anything or that whatever happened in between us?
"You don't matter to me..."
Now "kya kar rahi ho tum?"
or the "tumne mujhe batana zaroori nahin samjha?", every word and feeling of this episode gets me... every time.
Well she is right at her place asking
"Aapko is see kya Farq padta hai?" [ Why does it matter to you?]
"Mujhe kyuon farak padta hai?"
Holding her tight, fearing losing her. Piercing his eyes into her showing her openly his wound, he blurted out many things which were contradicting his own actions recently. Her words blew the fire and intensified his pain further.
"aapko is see kya fark padta hai?
Ah, he is not backing off that easily. Is he?
"Farak padta hai dammit kyuonke..."
But somewhere it was too late... He felt it, deep down knew it and as always he hurt himself like all the wounds were ready to rupture the last drop of blood in him. He doesn't let her touch or heal his wounded soul.
It doesn't matter...he was affirmed by this one mantra what he will tell her over and over from now until the real realization of what he had done and what he had to do to rewind those moments and he will try...with his rage, hurting her and himself in return until he lets her go...by hugging La...apologizing her for hurting ...
Har bar...for everything.
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